Dear Freshman Megan,

Dear Freshman Megan,

You’re sitting in the family van, stuffed full of everything you’ve imagined putting in your college dorm- the one at Notre Dame you’ve spent four years of high school daring yourself to envision. You are wearing the outfit you’ve had picked out for weeks. This crazy dream you never thought was going to come true is about to unfold right before you. And I can promise you right now, darling little almost-Freshman Megan,  it not going to be easy. College is going to be really hard.

You will start college with a list of things you are planning to accomplish. This is what it looks like: Join Folk Choir, work as a mentor for ND Vision, study abroad in Angers, become an RA, intern for ACE, and graduate to become the ideal teacher. All while maintaining a perfect relationship with your high school boyfriend. This plan is so ingrained in your head that you can’t even imagine college being anything but this plan. I hate to tell you this (and of course the last four years would have been a lot easier if I could) but none of this will happen.

A lot of your freshman year will be spent hiding your tears of homesickness, heartbreak, and the realization that the future is made up of uncertainties. Some days, you’ll look up at the dome and wonder if all this pain is worth it for the dream. But, you’ll finish freshman year feeling a lot less homesick, a little less heartbroken, and confident that it’s all going to work out. That’s not to say it gets any easier. You’ll take classes so difficult it will make you question ever thinking you were smart enough to go to Notre Dame. You’ll have nights of terrifying loneliness where you’ll wonder if anyone really knows you, if anyone really cares. You’ll feel as if you are drowning in stress. You’ll have disappointments and frustrations and you’ll stay up late writing angsty entries into your journal.

But in the end, you will grow into yourself. You’ll learn to accept the uncertainties of your life. They are still frustrating, but you will learn to live in acceptance of them instead of in conflict. You’ll learn how to succeed in your classes, but also how get help when things aren’t okay. You’ll learn how to live on your own and embrace independence in a way you’ve never had the freedom to do before. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself when you feel stressed. You’ll learn how to tell your stories, even the painful ones, so that you can help others. You’ll begin to learn how to love yourself in the way God loves you and that is so, so important.

And you will have so much fun because you are going to do incredible things you don’t even know about yet. You will travel to places of your dreams. You’ll do research in France as a sophomore, feeling so joyful and awe-filled as you begin to explore on your own. And then you’ll come back to spend seven months in Europe- studying in Paris, interning in Ireland, travelling everywhere you can afford. It will change your life and all you will do is dream about going back. So much so that you put off your teaching dreams to spend another year in Europe after graduation. It’s not what you expected, but it’s exactly right.

What else? You will make amazing friends. It will take a while to make them, but finding people you can be 100% yourself around is always worth the wait. These friends are the kind of people that agree to making up Hamilton-themed (oh right, you haven’t heard of this yet- it’s a musical and it’s good, I promise) Bookstore Basketball teams. They have creative writing reading nights. They do yoga with you every Friday morning. They are down for brunches out or game-and-wine nights in. They care about you a lot and you care about them too.

Is there anything I’m missing? You get a pet bunny, like you’ve always wanted. You write a senior thesis, even though the prospect of it terrifies you. You write this blog, which is one of the most important ways you contribute to Notre Dame. There are plenty more things I could tell you, but I think you need some surprises, so I’ll stop here. There are things you swear you will never do, but you do them anyway- and that’s okay- that’s growing up. There are things you regret, but we all have those, and in the end, you know every wrong turn is part of God’s plan. Because that is the truth of it, the most important thought I give you- God has a plan for you. Yes, the road is hard. Yes, all your plans will get scrapped. But God’s plan for you is leading you to happiness that you can’t even imagine yet. And in the end, you’ll see that God’s plan might be better than your own.

The night before you go to Notre Dame, you’ll write in your journal, “I go to seek a great adventure.” And that you do. Notre Dame isn’t always easy. But it is always, always an adventure. And it is always worth it.

Now go live it!

-Megan