Second to Last

I can’t believe it was three years ago I arrived in the Campus Ministry offices in my floral skirt and blue cardigan, asking for the office of “Katie Morgan.” [Editor’s note: I am so thankful my administrative assistant told her my name is actually Kate and not Katie – Megan may not have gotten this job otherwise] I was nervous, clutching my printed list of blog ideas and my newly minted resume. I remember the interview was long and we spent quite a bit of time talking about Twitter as a totally valid place for news. A week or so after my interview, during move out, I found out I’d been offered a spot as a Campus Ministry student blogger. How could I have known then the amazing opportunities that would await me in my writing this blog?

My very first articles were written with a degree of uncertainty. I felt myself trying to write a “good Christian blog.” I wanted to deliver the sort of blog that my imagined model Campus Ministry kid would like to read. I would search the Internet for Bible passages that fit my topics. I doubted myself and would often e-mail my mom and ask for her help in putting together articles. I would interview friends and family for my articles, filling my articles with quotes. I’m not saying that these articles were disastrous, but they weren’t always as authentic as they could be.

I am grateful, so grateful, to have had this job for three years because it has given me the opportunity to develop my own voice. I remember in January of my sophomore year, I wrote a blog called “Religion and Politics,” where I wrote about my complex identity as a liberal Catholic. I was so nervous for the response to that article, dreading a backlash that would reaffirm the reason I had never dared to speak about the topic before. But instead it was met by understanding and affirmation. I began to realize I had freedom to truly articulate my faith- not just what came easily or the ready-made narratives- but the messy parts too.

So over the last few years, I let myself do just that. I wrote about being lonely. I wrote about the way Catholics sometimes judge each other for not being Catholic enough. I wrote about my move to Paris in the midst of a terrorist attack; then later I wrote about praying for the same city amidst another attack. I wrote about inevitable moments of disappointment that come with being a Notre Dame student- when all my dreams for senior year fell apart, when I felt stifled by my inner negative voice, when the process of waiting for future plans made me miserable. These articles came from some of my hardest moments in college, but having the courage to write about these things helped me work through the issues, have autonomy over them, but most importantly, see God in them. It is always these articles written from both pain and honestly that I have been told are the most powerful for readers. It means a lot knowing that I can repurpose painful moments into ones of understanding for others.

One of the moments that stands out the most was when I wrote the article, “All About Pep,” which was about having a transgendered grandparent. This was something most friends didn’t know about, something I was always worried to share about my family. The article was one of the highest read articles I’ve ever written. I was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love the article received. Here, this story I was always terrified to tell was now being a tool to communicate God’s love to others.

Looking back, writing this blog has been a lesson in learning how to be vulnerable. It has helped me find the words to share my faith in my own way, through my stories struggles, and triumphs. I’m so excited to see where my words will take me next and which new stories I’ll write.

On that note, this will the second to last post on this blog. As it is part of Notre Dame Campus Ministry and in essence a record of my undergrad experience, this particular story ends here. This doesn’t mean an end to my blogging, just this blog in particular. I’m pleased to say I’ll continue to tell my stories on my new blog: Wanders in Wonder. It will continue to have faith articles, as well musing about my favorite books, music, and travels. I’m really delighted to see where this new writing adventure leads- both next year in Ireland and beyond.